Underreported Bermuda Triangle Stories

By: Whitney Collins

— Sandy K., Provo, UT

We were on a commuter flight from Fort Pierce, Florida to Nassau. Halfway there, the plane lost cabin pressure and from my vantage point in Seat 8C, the clouds outside appeared almost lilac in appearance. Not lavender, mind you. Lilac. A few minutes later, the flight attendant stopped in our aisle to ask us to put on our oxygen masks. It was then that I realized she was actually Cheryl Harmon — my freshman year roommate from Utah State! Talk about uncanny! We briefly hugged and cried and exchanged email addresses before the cabin regained pressure. When no one was looking, Cheryl gave me two extra packs of peanuts — which came in handy once we landed because our airport shuttle was late and my blood sugar dipped way low. Coincidence? I think not.

— Bill S., Chattanooga, TN

My wife Tanya and I were deep sea fishing near the Turks and Caicos when she, who HATES fishing, caught a record-breaking dusky grouper. I, on the other hand, caught a cold. Also, our fishing guide looked like Bigfoot.

— Frank W., Coral Gables, FL

As a Coast Guard officer, I see lots of strange things in the Bermuda Triangle. But nothing was as weird as that guy I rescued off the coast of Miami who had four nipples. Three? I could maybe handle that. But four? I can’t even talk about it.

— Josh G., Austin, TX

I was on a Carnival Cruise with a bunch of my bros en route to San Juan. I swear, one night by the upper deck pool, I was probed by aliens. It was definitely the same night my frat brothers and I took mescaline. Or maybe it was the Purple Hooch night. Whatever the case, the next morning, my butt hurt. I hate the Bermuda Triangle. But Puerto Rico was pretty cool.

— Helen F., Trenton, NJ

My husband and I were in Bimini and he put his dirty dishes in the dishwasher. I repeat: my husband put his dirty dishes INSIDE the dishwasher. Not to mention, my 16-year-old daughter laughed at a knock-knock joke. God help us all. It’s only a matter of time before the entire planet is sucked into a wormhole.

— Bruce D., Milwaukee, WI

Some people say Key West is not included in the Bermuda Triangle. Well, you know what I say to that? They’re idiots who have obviously never seen Dominique and his Flying House Cats at the Westin Pier’s Sunset Celebration.

— Hugh C., Boston, MA

I got really really lost while sightseeing in Jamaica. I mean wicked disoriented. I’d just bought a massive bag of Negril sinsemilla when my inner compass just went totally wack. I also think I saw those aliens who violated Josh. Anyway, the only way I was able to finally get back to the condo was to travel through the lost city of Atlantis, hug four palm trees, forgive my father, and eat a crapload of Cheetos.

— Tom Q., St. Louis, MO

My wife and I were at a Sandals Resort in Antigua, after the birth of our triplets, when the weirdest thing happened to us during a snorkeling excursion. A methane hydrate completely stripped us of our clothes and wedding rings, minutes before a rogue wave deposited us smack in the middle of a raging swingers party. I used to be a skeptic, but after 18 sexless months and learning more about the surface velocity of the Gulf Stream, I believe pretty much anything can happen in the Bermuda Triangle. Or in Room 402.


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