Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

By: Megan Amram

Little is known about the fifth Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, Picasso.

MICHELANGELO: Totally rad — this toxic waste has made us into, like, super-turtles!!

PICASSO: Bros, I don’t feel so great after all that toxic waste.

LEONARDO: I’m stronger than ever and I can easily wield this Japanese sword I just found. How about you, Picasso? What’s your special new power?

PICASSO: I’m nauseous, and all my hair is falling out.

DONATELLO: In Japanese, “hair falling out” is “hea-shikkyaku-auto.” My awesome new power is knowing Japanese.

LEONARDO: Doitashi mashitay. Ha ji may ma shitay!

DONATELLO: Good one. Japanese is easy.

RAPHAEL: And I feel super light and agile. Cowabunga!

PICASSO: I also feel totally light, bro. But I think it’s totally less due to a new power and more due to a lack of red blood cells, white blood cells, and hair.

DONATELLO: And it’s totally cool that we all have our own colors now!

LEONARDO: Yeah. Like, Raphael is red, Donatello is purple, Picasso is albino and bleeding uncontrollably, and Michelangelo is orange.

RAPHAEL: How about weapons, dudes? I just have this feeling that I am going to kick tail with Ninja daggers.

PICASSO: Does having too many chromosomes count as a weapon? I have five too many chromosomes.

MICHELANGELO: The bo staff counts. I am good at the bo staff.


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