* Welcome to The Big Jewel, where, whatever we're spreading, we sure hope it's love.

* Which brings us to the aptly named Dylan Love and his first piece for us. Is it mere coincidence that in the same week in which Dylan Love makes his debut at this site, Bob Dylan debuts his new album? Yes, we think that's exactly what it is: coincidence. So let's hear no more about that. When you've finished marveling over Dylan's writing (our Dylan), be sure to visit his web site: The Dylan Love

Spreading The Love

By: Dylan Love




PEANUT BUTTER: Listen, we don’t have to do it now, but at some point we should talk about last night.

JELLY: Why? Did you not enjoy yourself?

PEANUT BUTTER: No, I had a great time. It was incredible, in fact. Just so…unexpected.

JELLY: It was, wasn’t it?

PEANUT BUTTER: I never thought anything would happen between us. You’re so outgoing and fun loving. I’m a little more quiet and reserved.

(They pause for a moment of mutual adoration.)

JELLY: If it happened again, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

PEANUT BUTTER: Far from it.

JELLY: In fact, we should do it again.

PEANUT BUTTER: Definitely.

JELLY: How about every day at lunchtime from now on?


PEANUT BUTTER: I bet Dylan’s glad he brought us from home today. That cafeteria meatloaf looks a little suspect.

JELLY: Those other kids will never know the simple joy of a you-and-me sandwich!

PEANUT BUTTER: I promise you one day we’ll move out of this Ziploc bag. I’ll get a great job and we can move into that Tupperware container you always wanted.

JELLY: I love you, Peanut Butter.

PEANUT BUTTER: I love you, Jelly.

WHOLE WHEAT BREAD: You guys make me sick.




PEANUT BUTTER: We have to talk, and we should probably do it now.

JELLY: What’s wrong?

PEANUT BUTTER: I’ve been thinking about us. The future.

JELLY: What do you mean?

PEANUT BUTTER: I mean we’ve been together for over 30 years. Isn’t it time to…grow up?

JELLY: Grow up? We’re timeless! Do you really want to throw away all our history?

PEANUT BUTTER: I don’t know. Yes?

JELLY: You met someone, didn’t you?!

PEANUT BUTTER: I don’t want to talk about it.

JELLY: Who is it? It’s that tramp, Honey, isn’t it?!

PEANUT BUTTER: (mumbles)

JELLY: I can’t hear you!

(JELLY throws a plate across the room. It smashes against the wall.)


JELLY: Peanut butter and banana?! That’ll never work! You’re crazy!

PEANUT BUTTER: Yes I am. Crazy in love.