June 15, 1826
Mr. Thomas Jefferson
My Dearest Friend,
I am under no illusion that posterity will grant me my proper due. Quite to the contrary, I believe the history books chronicling the Revolution will be a fiction from start to finish. The hero of which will undoubtedly be that clown Franklin. They will say Franklin accomplished this great deed and Franklin performed some other damned act. They will write of Franklin parting the Potomac and of General Washington springing to life from its waters, like Pegasus, in full uniform and on horseback. Eyewitness accounts will swear they saw Franklin electrocute (sorry, Freudian slip) electrify him with his wondrous lightning rod, and they will recount how the three of them, hair and mane standing on end, valiantly fought the British Empire, winning our independence by their efforts alone. Mark my word, there will not so much as even be a mention of the rest of us.
Ever and affectionately yours,
Date: July 3, 1826
Recipient’s Fax#: 617.074.1776
Recipient: John Adams
Sender: Thomas Jefferson
Sender’s Phone#: 434.074.1776
In reference to your letter of June 15, 1826, I will not accept our labors are lost. I shall not go into that good night without a hope that the truth about who set the flame of liberty ablaze is catching fire itself. Should the cloud of barbarism rain down despotism and douse the flames of liberty in this country, the history books must preserve the truth that you and I together were Prometheus in this revolutionary tale. That it was we, and not that clown Franklin (as you rightly refer to him), who gave the fire of liberty to this nation. The flames of liberty kindled on the 4th of July 1776 have become an inferno not extinguishable by the dribble of despotism. In the same way, we must ensure the truth about our holding up the Zippos is published too widely to be rewritten by the lies of jealousy.
P.S. You could not have experienced a Freudian slip since a quick web search reveals it will be more than fifty years until that esteemed scientist is scheduled to join this world. However, I understand what you meant.
DATE: Mon, 03 Jul 1826 16:37:44
FROM: 2ndpresident (at) gmail.com
SUBJECT: Re: Your letter
TO: 3rdpresident1234 (at) yahoo.com
CC: AbbyAdams (at) hotmail.com
Don’t know about the history books, but I will make some edits to Franklin’s entry on Wikipedia, take him down a notch or two. Might take a while as it appears Ben is roundly revered in this age, just as I predicted. Damn him. Copying Abigail on this email in case she has any ideas. BTW, check out the new Zippo webpage at www.zippo.com.
IM from: Abby (at) aol.com
hi boys. consider using blogs, possibly even more important than history books. certainly read by more of the Revolutionati. cool Zippo url..:)
J – Saw message from Abby. Out of colony. Will embark on blog upon my return tomorrow. Zippo.
Ignore typos; message sent from Blackberry
Saw pics of your trip on Flikr. You’re looking tired. Check out my Del.ic.ious tags for staying healthy.
Message sent from Treo
FROM: tom (at) zippomail.com
I’m not checking messages as I am on my deathbed.
Formerly 2nd U.S. President
Google [ Jefferson ] Search
Jefferson inaugurates University of Virginia
Jefferson holds up Zippo as he dedicates new university…
www.uofv.edu/ – 23k – Cached – Similar pages
Jefferson writes children’s book
Thomas Jefferson, ex-president, author, and patriot, publishes his first children’s book. “Zippo the Hippo.”
www.zippothehippo.com/ – 37k – Cached – Similar pages
Jefferson: The lighter side
Zippo interviews Thomas Jefferson about politics, morality, tobacco, and his fondness for his Zippo.
www.zippointerviews.com/ – 54k – Cached – Similar pages
DATE: Tues, 04 Jul 1826 08:31:32
FROM: 2ndpresident (at) gmail.com
Thank Google, Thomas Jefferson still survives.
From Ben Franklin’s weekly Podcast: Say It Again Ben.
Today we take a moment of silence to honor the passing of two of our founding fathers, two ex-presidents of our country, two of a kind – John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. Amazingly, they died just five hours apart, exactly fifty years to the day after George, George’s horse, and I freed our great nation from rule of England ‘s thumb.
Please raise your Zippos.
And now, back to our Ben Franklin Independence Day celebration. I’m Ben Franklin.