My Friday, As Retold By The Scrolling “Missed Connections” Headlines On Chicago’s”

By: Greg Boose

Friday 5/11/07

so so so sorry you spilled yr coffee when I opened the door. I hope your day gets better. – w4m – 24 (Southport Starbucks)

you were the hot blonde in a yellow top standing next to the guy with coffee all over his shirt. We made eye contact several times and laughed about him. I would love to meet up with you somewhere where that guy isn’t! Ha! – m4w – 31 (Brownline)

Did anybody else see that lady sneeze ketchup in that guy’s face???!!!! Oh my God!!! Brownline to the Loop 8:42 am. TOTALLY F@%*ED UP. – (brownline)

we both got off at the wrong stop, you cried – w4m – 32 (Armitage)

Friday morning caught in the sudden downpour. Me: Attractive redhead with black purse. You: Hot Asian guy with long hair gently kicking the scary dude face down in the grass with maybe blood on his collar. You a doctor? Let’s have a drink! – w4m – 26 (State st)

to the old lady who got her umbrella stolen by that screaming shirtless guy, sorry I didn’t intervene. I kind of just froze. – w4w (Randolph St)

10 am, brownhaired guy in line at the Dress Barn…dude, that place is for women! Did you hear me pounding on the glass??!! – (downtown)

You were the guy sitting crosslegged in the corner of my elevator wearing a red blouse with yr head down – w4m – (181 N Clark)

saw you getting yelled at by your short boss. Where’d you get that nice blouse? Seriously. – m4m – (181 N clark)

To the beautiful Spanish woman who pointed out to everyone passing by on the escalator that a guy was wearing a woman’s shirt. I had the Bears hat and yellow polo on. PLEASE contact me. – m4w – 30 (Marshall’s)

Tall guy trying on the green buttondown shirt at Marshall’s. Hate to tell ya but it didn’t match with your brown pants. (downtown)

Yo! Sorry to whoevers wrist I stepped on in the stairwell but that bomb threat really freaked me out – m4m – (2nd Floor? Marshalls)

You dropped your wallet inside Marshall’s. I have it! Message me and tell me your name. – (Marshall’s)

I didn’t know it was going to be the last piece of sausage and banana pepper. You didn’t have to yell at me, dickface – (Sbarros)

You were the security guard w/ the soothing and sexy voice talking to the guy in the green hiding behind the card machine. Wished you would talk to me with that voice over a glass of wine or cup of coffee. – w4m – 34 (State/Lake station)

Re: I saw that! You really stomped on him. — Yo! Sorry to whoevers wrist I stepped on in the stairwell but that bomb threat really freaked me out – m4m – (2nd Floor? Marshalls)

Some jerk wouldn’t let you sit down on the train because he had his “very broken hand” on the other seat. You: blue shirt, black skirt, great legs and a gorgeous pout. I was the guy who offered you my seat and got off at Fullerton – m4w – 23 (redline)

Re: Re: I feel really bad about it. I can’t get his squeal out of my head. — Re: I saw that! You really stomped on him. — Yo! Sorry to whoevers wrist I stepped on in the stairwell but that bomb threat really freaked me out – m4m – (2nd Floor? Marshalls)

Have a missed connection with a gray moped? It was totally stolen by a guy in a green shirt while I watched from the third floor. Thief really favored his left arm. I called the cops! – (Lincoln&Roscoe)

Now that’s a wipeout!!! I thought you were dead but then you moved. – (Lincoln)

Left your moped on fire and ran. – (Lincoln)

Found your keys in the street. – (Lincoln)

To the skinny guy running by with his clothes on fire. Stop, drop, and roll, mofo. – (Lincoln)

Missed connection with my clothes on the line in my backyard. Up yours you kleptomaniacal freak. – (3400 block N. Ashland)

4PM – You were the pretty black girl who got knocked over by the screaming guy being escorted out of Bank of America. I was the good looking tall guy in the red puma jacket who held the door. What happened? – m4w – 36 (Lakeview)

You kicked my husband in the chest for just saying your clothes might be too big for you. If we see you again… – w4m (Cornelia Street)

to the guy who wanted to trade his watch for a ride to his landlord’s office. you sounded desperate and sincere, but I never let strangers in my car. sorry. – w4m (Lakeview)

Hey Jackass! I almost ran you over – (white Honda on Broadway)

I let you borrow my cell phone and you wept like a child. Turn to the Lord Jesus! He loves you! – m4m – 55 (Chicago)

9:15pm…Scrawny dude with wrist wrapped in napkins, sitting outside Potbelly’s and shivering in a huge T-shirt. You should have just stood up to the manager instead of flipping over that table. – (on Southport)

You were the hot blonde woman playing tug-of-war over a red sweater with some maniac guy. Wished I got out of my car to help! You are totally beautiful. – m4w – (Roscoe St.)

Midnight – to the guy in the red sweater at the Pick Me Up Café. Really sorry I bumped your table and spilled your coffee. I would have bought you another cup if you hadn’t run off like that. – w4m – 34 (Lakeview)


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