Overall, things are going great! We’ve got a killer show on our hands this year! I know if we all pull together, we can make this a show to remember.
Just a few itty bitty notes…
Prostitutes: Let’s tone down the makeup a bit, ladies. Too over the top. You are just hookers on the street, not in a Christina Aguilera video.
Javert: Keep up the good work! Oh, but can we get you to move a bit? I know you aren’t used to the lifts and last week’s mishap was unfortunate, but maybe you could wear them around school just to get used to them. (But please check with administration about the school insurance policy first.)
Eponine: Welcome back, my Broadway Baby! We missed you! And I want you to hold your head up high around school. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Rehab did wonders for you,darling!
Crowd: You are sooooooo important! Just because you don’t have speaking roles doesn’t mean you aren’t valuable members of our little troupe. You’ve got to get involved in the action on stage. No cell calls while on stage! I mean it!.
Student soldiers: Concentrate. No clicking of triggers unless you are actually fighting someone.
And remember — good soldiers do not put rifle barrels in their mouths.
Fantine: It’s your death scene. You don’t want a dry eye in the house when you finally come to your demise. Sell it, my dear! And lose the gum.
Mme. Thenardier: Remember, she wants everyone to think of her as high-falutin’ when actually she is just French white trailer trash. (No offense to our mobile home-living students — or our white or French-ancestry students, either, for that matter.) Sweetie, see if your parents will let you watch “The Anna Nicole Show.”
Valjean: You can be so good when you really set your mind to it! But what can I do to get you to stop giggling? And I must ask you to refrain from overt displays of affection with Cossette during breaks. Yes, I know in real life you two are dating, but in the play you are like adopted father and daughter and quite frankly, it’s freaking some of us out.
Way to go guys! I can almost smell the croissants! Your dedication to authenticity is an inspiration to us all — which brings up one small point. Standard fake stage blood (which we want) does not coagulate and turn brown. Some in the cast (who did quite well in biology mid-terms, I might add) are concerned that your desire to “keep it real” may have gone a bit too far. I’m not going to ask questions. Don’t ask, don’t tell. But please, boys, remember we are representing the entire school and we want to be on our best behavior. Yes, that includes you, Ernie. Geeks rock!
I’m excited! Are you excited?! Just think, a few weeks ago we hardly knew each other, and now we are a family!
And yes, families have squabbles but — and this is important — they stick together.
Now I know some in the community have voiced protest over our interracial casting of our young lovebirds Marius and Cossette, but I’m glad to say that the school board is standing behind us 100 percent.
Keep your fingers crossed, but there’s talk that even the fathers of our two actors…Mr. Khalid and Mr. Bronstein, may attend.
And please inform your family and friends that the tickets will be one dollar more than originally advertised. I’m told the additional funds will support the extra security.
Exit stage left,