* Welcome to The Big Jewel, where we like funny poems about Sir Lancelot a lot.

The Facts About Sir Lancelot Du Lac

By:
efflux@sonic.net

Sir Lancelot liked to dance a lot. (“Watch me do the Nitty-Gritty!”)

Sir Lancelot went to France a lot. (“They should put a large metal tower there.”)

Sir Lancelot saw his aunts a lot. (“Birdie, Flora, I brought you some chrysanthemums.”)

Sir Lancelot took a stance a lot. (“Background checks should be required to buy a sword!”)

Sir Lancelot wrote for grants a lot. (Mainly from the Knight Foundation.)

 

Sir Lancelot was apt to glance a lot. (At Maid Marian.)

Sir Lancelot pursued romance a lot. (“Er…Maid Marian, that’s a very lovely frock you’re wearing.”)

Sir Lancelot wore long pants a lot. (Heavy, metal ones.)

Sir Lancelot watered plants a lot. (Peeing in the woods during long sojourns on horseback.)

Sir Lancelot worked high finance a lot. (At the Camelot International Stock Exchange.)

 

Sir Lancelot was in a guild, and stern with Rosencrantz a lot. (“Rosencrantz, get this guild in order!”)

Sir Lancelot got his comeuppance a lot. (“I guess it’s what I deserve.”)

Sir Lancelot longed for the Renaissance a lot. (“Not sure what it is, but I think it will be wonderful.”)

Sir Lancelot felt ambivalence a lot. (Regarding his love for Maid Marian.)

Sir Lancelot saw The Pirates of Penzance a lot. (An early version, but still quite charming.)

 

Sir Lancelot was in a trance a lot. (“Is it true love — or the awful heat in these heavy metal pants?”)

Sir Lancelot played with ants a lot. (“It gets dull waiting to joust.”)

Sir Lancelot played with Sirs John Linnell and Flans a lot. (“I, too, might be giant.”)

Sir Lancelot made obeisance a lot. (“King Arthur, your humble servant kneels before you.”)

Sir Lancelot hung with a fancy lot. (“Nice greaves, there, Galahad.”)

 

Sir Lancelot inspired this remembrance a lot.

 

Share