The sledgehammer bit isn’t working. It takes too much time and it’s obvious that the thing’s foam rubber. I mean, a sledgehammer to the skull would kill a person!

Decided to go with “heep heep heep” instead of “oh oh oh” when the monster chases me through the lab in reel two. Moe disagrees, but I feel it in my gut.

Some days you just have to have pie, and today it’s cherry.

Snuck the sultan hat home and put it in a box. Love that thing. Wardrobe’ll never miss it.

Larry had diarrhea again. Pickled eggs and black coffee. All he eats. Heep.

Accidently hurt Moe with a prop board this morning. Nasty bruise on the left side of his face. I felt awful, but Moe, as always, was polite and forgiving. Great guy.

Today, some guy at the race track yelled, “You’re no Curly!” I wanted to inform him that I was the original Third Stooge, that Curly wasn’t part of the act till I left for a solo career, and that I came back after Curly had a stroke. But I called him an asshole instead.

Midgets dressed as leprechauns — comedy gold.

Maybe I’m paranoid, but I simply do not trust Dean Acheson.

Stooged out. Think I’ll go bowling.