Shemp Howard’s 1949 Journal: Random Entries From The Original Third Stooge

By: Dennis Perrin

The sledgehammer bit isn’t working. It takes too much time and it’s obvious that the thing’s foam rubber. I mean, a sledgehammer to the skull would kill a person!

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Decided to go with “heep heep heep” instead of “oh oh oh” when the monster chases me through the lab in reel two. Moe disagrees, but I feel it in my gut.

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Some days you just have to have pie, and today it’s cherry.

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Snuck the sultan hat home and put it in a box. Love that thing. Wardrobe’ll never miss it.

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Larry had diarrhea again. Pickled eggs and black coffee. All he eats. Heep.

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Accidently hurt Moe with a prop board this morning. Nasty bruise on the left side of his face. I felt awful, but Moe, as always, was polite and forgiving. Great guy.

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Today, some guy at the race track yelled, “You’re no Curly!” I wanted to inform him that I was the original Third Stooge, that Curly wasn’t part of the act till I left for a solo career, and that I came back after Curly had a stroke. But I called him an asshole instead.

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Midgets dressed as leprechauns — comedy gold.

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Maybe I’m paranoid, but I simply do not trust Dean Acheson.

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Stooged out. Think I’ll go bowling.

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