Item: Minnesota Vikings Poker Chip and Guard Protector
Transaction end: Oct-11-09
Case Type: Unpaid Item
Case status: Open
eBay: BrettF4 has opened an Unpaid Item case for “Minnesota Vikings Poker Chip and Guard Protector.” Please pay for the item or respond to the seller before Oct-31-2009.
GregB: Hey man, sorry I didn’t follow through with this purchase. The fact is that I was doing some research for a humor article I wanted to write, I came across this silly poker chip thing and its superfluous plastic case, and then one of my cats walked across my keyboard. Apparently he made me hit the “Buy It Now” button and then confirmed it with a back paw. Ridiculous, I know, but the truth. I will not be buying this item. I’m not even a Vikings fan (Go Browns!). Thanks for understanding and please close this case.
BrettF4: Hello, GregB. That’s funny about your cat, but the fact is that the button was still pushed and you are now committed under eBay rules to buy this Minnesota Vikings Poker Chip and Guard Protector. When you commit to something, anything, you must follow through. You cannot waver. People around the country, around the world, in Vegas for sure, will be affected by your decision. So the sooner you buy this (perfect condition) poker chip and its important (minor scratch) protector, the easier it will be on everyone. Although, after talking about it with my close friends and God, me keeping the poker chip could be a really good thing for me and my family.
GregB: Listen, BrettF4, I get where you’re coming from — the “Buy It Now” button was officially hit — but there’s no way I’m buying this item. Number one: What the hell would I do with a poker chip that has the Minnesota Vikings logo on it? Number two: Why would I need a plastic guard protector for it? I’m not 11 years old. I do not have a shelf in my condo for embarrassing sports memorabilia. I did not push the “Buy It Now” button on purpose. Let it go and put it back up for sale. Thanks.
BrettF4: I’m not going to lie to you, I believe that the returning of my poker chip to my collection would be great for me. I can’t see how it wouldn’t be. But if you’re going to criticize me for saying I’m going to take the thing back and then for me saying that you are obligated to buy it now, then don’t open your email and read these messages. If you’re a true poker chip fan, you’d understand.
GregB: ??? I’m not a poker chip fan; I’m a craps guy. The last thing I collected was Kurt Vonnegut’s entire catalog, and I’m kinda bored with that now. Keep the freaking thing. Me, and my roommates who have to listen to me, are totally over you and your keen ability to string me along with your indecision. Just retire the case already and move on. Leave me alone so we can all focus on other items like my bid to buy your half-bottles of “Vicodin-like, But Not Vicodin, Candy Pills.”
BrettF4: I’m happy about my decision and I haven’t once said, “I wonder if I made the wrong decision to sell this Vikings Poker Chip and its Guard Protector.” I know it’s the right one. I still have the itch. I AM RETIRING.
GregB: Dude, you’re losing me here. It’s almost like you are confusing me on purpose because you love all the attention you’re getting from me, and most likely from your other buyers. It’s narcissistic and isn’t as exciting as you must think it is. Are you saying that you are retiring from the idea of selling it, or are you going to continue to be vague and give me an “Unpaid Item” strike on my account? Because that would totally blow.
BrettF4: What don’t you understand? That I’m un-retiring from the idea of selling this amazing poker chip and protector guard? Or the fact that I’m officially retiring from being a collector of NFL poker chips and their protector guards?
GregB: Ugh. Confused…Please make up your mind of what you’re going to do. I think I’m going to close this eBay account.
BrettF4: GregB, I’ve given everything I can to this collection, to collecting as a whole, and I don’t think I have anything left to give. That’s it. I’m too old for this stuff. I know I can still collect, but I don’t know if I still want to. As I look back on my career in poker chips and their protector guards, and on my career with NFL memorabilia, I have no regrets. Also, hey, would you be interested in selling me back that Minnesota Vikings Poker Chip Guard and Protector for my collection?
GregB: Wait. Dammit. You want me to sell you that stupid piece of crap back? I haven’t even officially bought it.
BrettF4: Everyone who I’ve talked to; former collectors, poker players who use novelty chips, and people I accosted on the street who I begged to talk about me in the third person as if they were on SportsCenter said if I wanted to get back into it this, then the Minnesota Vikings chip is a perfect fit. It really is. Once again there’s no guarantee, but I have a really good collection of memorabilia going here with one New York Jets frisbee and several Packers beer koozies, plus I have an intention of getting my hands on a Tampa Bay Bucs iPhone case next year, and from my standpoint, I feel like I could offer some real collectible selling experience and leadership. I have to admit, through this whole process, after I said no seven days ago, at times I was okay with it but at other times I felt like I could really collect all 32 NFL poker chips, and I think that’s the competitive fire in me. As a collector, regardless of theme, you have to feel like you can make a difference. I truly feel like I can, so I just didn’t want to look back. I have no idea how I will feel a year from now, five years from now, 10 years from now. But I didn’t want to say, “What if I still had that Vikings chip and protector guard?”
GregB: For the love of God, keep it, please. It’s all yours. You are one frustrating eBayer to deal with, you know that?
BrettF4: Yeah, I’ve made mistakes along the way, we all have. But if I had to do it all over again, I would do it the same way.
eBay: This case is closed. The buyer and seller have agreed not to complete the transaction.