 About/Masthead - Archive - Blurbs - Contact - Exposure Links - Services - Submissions by J. Pinkerton Title of song: "Complicated" Number of unique words in 130-word poem "Simplicity" by Robert Service: 92 Average number of unique words "Simplicity" contains for every unique word in "Complicated": 3.5 Lavigne, on Lavigne: "I'm a skater punk who writes guitar-driven rock." No. of tracks on Lavigne's Let Go for which she has sole writing credit: 0 On writing guitar-driven rock: "I sit down with a guitar player usually." No. of guitar players Lavigne sat down with to write Let Go: 5 Other artists to sit down with same guitar players: Wilson Phillips, Madonna, Cyndi Lauper On her sound: "I just didn't want to be bubblegum pop." No. of 2002 Grammy nominations received by Avril Lavigne: 5 Lavigne, on proper pronunciation of first name: "It's not Aye-vril. It's Avril!" Lavigne's pronunciation of David Bowie's last name at nomination ceremony: "Bau-ee" Proper pronunciation: "Boe-ee" Number of 2002 Grammy nominations Bowie received: 1 David Bowie's greatest accomplishments in 1984: Grammy, Best Video; MTV Video Music Award, Male Video; MTV Video Music, Vanguard Award Avril Lavigne's greatest accomplishments in 1984: was born Proper pronunciation of Avril Lavigne's last name: "Lah-veen" Incorrect: "Luh-vig-nee," "Lah-viegg-nuh," "Lugh-fugh-bugh" Lavigne, on her sound: "I don't like using the term 'pop star' because that's not my personality...I'm hardcore." Acts to label themselves "pop stars": Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake Acts to label themselves "hardcore": Black Flag, Dead Kennedys No. times the words "boy," "feel" and "cry" appear on Black Flag's Damaged: 0, 2, 0 On Dead Kennedys' Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables: 0, 1, 0 On Lavigne's Let Go: 16, 11, 13 Lavigne, on lyrics: "Girls seem to be more sensitive, right? Guys like to hide their feelings." No. times the words "boy," "feel" and "cry" appear on Justin Timberlake's Justified: 16, 39, 40 On Spears' Baby One More Time: 1, 4, 1 Ranking Lavigne (47) would receive by totaling these numbers, with Dead Kennedys (1) representing hardcore and Justin Timberlake (141) representing wussiest, most not-hardcore thing in universe: 66.6% hardcore; 33.3% pop star Hardcore/pop star ranking Britney Spears would receive by this same ranking: 96% hardcore; 4% pop star Lavigne, on similarity to Britney Spears: ""I'm not like [her]. I'm just being myself, being real." Formula that scores readability based on complexity of words and sentences: The Flesch-Kincaid Index According to Flesch-Kincaid Index, how old person must be to read the Financial Times: 18 To read the Times Educational Supplement: 17 To read lyrics to "Complicated": 8 To read lyrics to Britney Spears' "Baby One More Time": 8 To read lyrics to Eminem's "Without Me": 13 To read Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities: 13 To read lyrics to Justin Timberlake's "Like I Love You": 6 and under No. times Timberlake says "girl" on Justified: 58 Amount Lavigne won at Kingston Exhibition and Home Show's Country Singing Show Down in 1999, in Canada: $1000 City in which author of this piece lived in 1999: Kingston, Ontario, Canada Place author of this piece worked as Event Coordinator in 1999: Kingston Exhibition and Home Show Duties of author during this summer job: accounting, putting hog and cattle finalists into database, some lifting Unofficial duties: playing Prince of Persia on old 486 computer Level I obtained on Prince of Persia by end of summer: 8 Awareness level I had of Avril Lavigne at time: 0% Interest level I had in Country Singing Showdown: 0% Interest level I had in Gymnastics Showdown: 97% Relation of interest level to participant's actual proficiency in gymnastics: low to none Relation of interest level to tightness/sheerness of outfits: very high Relation of interest level to possibility of scoring with gymnast: very high Likelihood that I met Lavigne that summer: 20% Likelihood that I gave a crap: 3% Mental state of author throughout summer: very high  About - Archive - Blurbs - Contact - Exposure Links - Services - Submissions |